Living Out Wisdom
Study Scripture: Proverbs 31 : 8 – 14, 25 -30
Lesson 13

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Key Verse

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

 

INTRODUCTION

This chapter of Proverbs after the contains two sets of lessons. The first covers verses 1-9 and focuses on the matter of being a King, while the second section describes what it involved in being a wife approved by God, in other words, an excellent wife.  Both lessons represent the words of the mother of the writer, who was really the Queen Mother and as such placed in a position of great power and authority.   

She was obviously concerned that her son be aware of what was involved in being a wise and successful person of authority.  She taught him proper behavior and approach to all areas of life.  

The area of his relationship with a woman was an essential ingredient for success and one to which close attention was to be paid.  

One can draw the conclusion that to be wise, or live skilfully, one had to understand the insights of this wise mother.  There is no better source to learn about women that from women themselves and this ancient document gives us the teachings about women from a very learned woman as she addressed her son.  We ignore this teaching at our peril.  

Note that the lessons in this chapter are addressed to men, even though they are of immense value to women, in showing them the important attributes that they should cultivate and possess.  

The advice given to her son the King would be the highest-quality of instruction.  This is the maternal love and concern and it invokes the intense agonies of childbirth and the intensity of this mother’s vows, probably made in her prayer for a son.  

The Bible states that we are kings and priests of God and if we want to reflect the royal heritage that Christ ian s possess, we had better pay attention to these series of advice, if we want to attain to the required godly standards.  

Note that all the standards laid out by this mother are all interconnected and we cannot really have one without the other.  We can certainly look at these stunned are its as being applicable to Kings as well as to commoners, if among the brethren we care to draw that unbiblical distinction.  

Interestingly, this chapter is constructed in a way which should produce delight in its readers.  In verses 10-31 we have what is called an acrostic, which is a form of writing, that in this case piles up one praiseworthy attribute after another on the person that is loved.  

Ever verse begins with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet, so the writer, in praising the woman who fears the Lord, strings together twenty two praiseworthy things to say about her, just as one would do when one creates a precious necklace, adding one by one precious gems.  

The first aim is clearly to inspire women to be like this woman who fears the Lord and fulfills appropriately the role to which she has been called.  

The first lesson is that women are to fear the Lord and irrespective of their marital situation, fulfill the role to which they have been called.  

The next aim seems to be to inspire women and children to praise the woman who fear of the Lord.  This of course calls for a godly response from both of these parties, who are expected to know the excellencies or attributes of a woman who fears the Lord.  They will only know this if they themselves fear the Lord and study their Scriptures.

Clearly, this inescapable responsibility is based on men.  

 The passage makes no bones about stating that there must be praise for the godly woman.  

We then must look at several important matters such as: 

-what it means to fear the Lord

-why it is so important to praise the woman who fears the Lord

-how to tell if a woman fears the Lord, and

-what fearing the Lord looks like in action.  

Verse thirty states that this highly praised believer feared the Lord.  We need to look at what this behavior entailed and what God does to produce ‘fear’.  

We are told that at Mount Sinai the people trembled when the mountain shook, for they were afraid of God. But then, in response to the people’s trembling request that God not speak to them lest they die, Moses told them that they should not fear, for God had simply called to prove them.  Let us look at the text to see what God had in mind.   

Note that the power of God is real and it requires reverence and extreme caution, but it requires boldness.  All believers should be able to approach the throne of God boldly.  Hebrews 4:16 and 13:6.  Simply ensure that our hands and hearts are clean, otherwise there would be problems.  We read:

And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking: and when the people saw it, they removed, and stood afar off.

 And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die.

 nd Moses said unto the people, Fear not: for God is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not.

 And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God was. Exodus 20:18-21

We know why the fear of God is important, but this fear of God is not designed to destroy, it is designed to produce Godly reverence, trust and obedience, as well as to deter sin.

The fear of God therefore exist alongside the encouragement to pull near to God. But note that the presence of God does not tolerate sin, for a person cannot walk in the light in which God lives, when they are doing evil.  Unfortunately many of us do not understand this.  

So this woman who fears the Lord, is not ‘afraid’ of God, but instead embraces Him and because of that she is a blessing to others.  We will come back to this matter later.  

But first we look at the warnings to the man, so that we can appreciate this woman.   

The first lesson to the man is that he not waste his life pursuing sexual adventures.

The second advice is that he not ‘mess up’ his mind with alcohol and by extension drugs.  

The man of God must have a clear mind, dignity and strength, place his hope in the future established by God, live a life of joy and demonstrate the judgment, righteousness and mercy of God in dealing with others.  The standards of God must be his standards.  This man is taught self-control and discipline.  

Such a man will look for a woman that is virtuous and so the text from verse ten begins with the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. To complete the man he must be focused on the virtuous woman.  But first we will look at what is required from him.  A man should not expect to find a great woman, if he is not committed to being  great.

THE TEXT

Verse 8.  This important instruction is a powerful lesson.  The exhortation is that one most love to such an extent, that there will not be silence when one sees people heading for destruction.  

How can one neglect to carry the word of God to those who are trapped in their sins and therefore doomed?

How can one keep silent?

Those that are literally passing away and who are in such a state that they cannot speak for themselves and are ready to give up and stay in their unfortunate trap must be helped.  

Those of us who think that we are showing love when we leave people in their sins and do not warn them repeatedly, are dead wrong.  If we love we will correct and guide toward the truth.  

Kings have a responsibility.  Believers, who are defined as kings and priests of God have a responsibility and there is no getting away from it.

Verse 9.   Of course, if you have no ability to discern we will never be able to do the job.  

But a believer is required to do the job assigned by God.  So the demand is repeated.  One is commanded to open ones mouth, to be vocal for all aspects of justice.  

Like the prophets of old one must support the weak and vulnerable, ensure that those who cannot help themselves are helped and protected.  God loves the fatherless, the poor and the needy.  We must do likewise and we will if we have the love of God.   

That is a test of a good man. We advice can now be given to a man on how to find a good woman, one approved by God.

Verse 10.   At first glance this is a serious question from both perspectives.  From the male perspective, the wise Queen Mother admonishes her son about the type of women that he should look for and choose, when seeking a mate. Unquestionably, this advice is very pertinent for all men. This also provides strict instruction for women, for it tells them the type of woman they should strive to be.   

We are now given advice that benefits both men and women. Note that there is a rather ugly alternative.  Men or women can choose to ignore this advice and end up where they certainly do not want to be.  

It is made clear at the outset, that they kind of woman that is desirable in the eyes of this wise woman and in the eyes of God, is quite rare.  This is logically so, because the road to true life is quite a narrow one and few find it.  In contrast, the road to death is quite broad and many are on that road.   

So it is easier to find the woman that does not fit the picture of this wise woman.  It is not that more women cannot fit this picture, for we know that the Holy Spirit is perfectly able to transform and remould anyone that comes to him in faith.  So women really need not fear that they will never be able to fit the bill.  That idea is a lie from Satan and comes from the pit of Hell.  

Men also need not fear that they will never find such a woman, for the Holy Spirit is perfectly able to guide them in the most excellent way.  

Note also that this picture of this woman stands in contrast to the loud, seductive, adulterous woman, and the noisy, contentious, nagging, clamorous women previously described.  She is none of those things.  

It is realistic to ask if one can ever find such a woman, a person of moral excellence, honesty and general integrity.  

At this stage practically every woman, if they are honest with themselves, after reading Proverbs 31, will again ask themselves whether there is any hope for them, since she will know that she is not presently everything that she ought to be. 

We must understand that when people are faced with someone who is noble and who lives life to the full, it often leaves them that are not in that great state with the feeling associated with an inferiority complex.  This might lead to a ‘no hope’ feeling, a continuing sinking into hopelessness and attempts to correct this situation which creates more problems than it solves.  

It will help us if we can look at what she does in three categories.

First, we can look at the kind of relationships she has with people.

Second, we can look at the relationship she has with things, such as how creative she is, the kind of effort she puts into things.

Third, we can look at her relationship with God.   

If a woman wants to look at how she can assess herself and make the necessary changes, these would probably help her in her analysis.  

It should be made clear however that since the Industrial Revolution, the role of women have been dramatically changed.  In those pre- industrial revolution societies there was not much division between home and work. The production of food and clothing, desirable objects and any kind of business activity, generally took place in a family business type of organization with husband, wife, children and relatives participating.   

Everyone worked and the highly touted and frequently stated argument that we hear from Christ ian pulpits and proclaimed in books that women always stayed home, looked after the children, cooked, cleaned and washed, does not really match up in any way with the reality of ancient life.  

Women in the past generally did practically everything and worked very hard.  The only thing they rarely did was fight in wars.  

Women should understand at the beginning that if they start from the modern context and not be aware of the reality of the past, they will completely misunderstand Proverbs 31.  

Let us be reminded that slavery was common in many ancient societies and in those societies  some women had little rights, little freedom and little opportunity to develop themselves.  

God gave Israel a totally different picture of the woman.  He vastly elevated the status of woman.  Christ ian ity continued that process and though many distortions have crept into the picture, Christ ian women must understand that they have never been superwomen and that a woman led by God, is the one who is a rare treasure and who is to be exalted and honored.  

Before we even look at this woman we know that the woman of God has never been like the so-called modern superwoman. She operates as if she is independent, concentrates only on her individual, personal career above all other things. She refuses to submit to her husband, is quite prepared to indulge in extramarital affairs for so-called personal fulfillment, loves to shop for herself in order to maintain a fashion magazine perfection. She is materialistic, fits in perfectly with the false standards of the society, chases after what the society says she should have and generally looks out for ‘me first’ , even though she will make concessions from time to time to her family.  

We will see, as we examine how she deals with the different categories of things, that the woman led by wisdom is different.  

This woman of God exists in a society where she is wife, mother, daughter, neighbor, overseer and she is very successful in her relationships with all other human beings.  She is not only concerned about her own tribe and family, but will always help the poor and needy.  She does what God requires.  

There is no need then for a woman in our post Industrial Revolution society to think that she has to do the multiple details listed here, in order to be a successful wife, mother, neighbor and woman of God.  

What is required is that she does what God wants exactly where she is and be committed to people, enjoying wonderful success in her relationships with other human beings.  She should be fearing God, for that is the start of it all and what sustains her life.  

One cannot live in a modern, specialized, post industrial society, doing exactly the same things as those people living in an agrar ian , extended family, clan based society.  That can never be done.  Maybe the pioneers in early Canada , the United States , or people that  are living in some rural cultures, can approximate to this image in every material respect. One can follow God just as well if you live in a city based, compartmentalized, nuclear family structure.  You do not have to be trading or selling family products in the market to be the Proverbs 31 woman.

Verse 11.  The first thing we note is that this woman has the full confidence of her husband. The type of woman depicted above is one the bible says will cause a man’s heart to be at ease.  He can trust his woman.   

Without trust, how can something like love truly flourish?  The bible also indicates that if a man has such a woman near him, then he will not need to use any unjust or unlawful means to gain his living.  His wife will be satisfied and he would also be satisfied because she is satisfied.   

Literally, he does not need to go out to war to obtain booty in order to live, for his wife arranges whatever is necessary for a happy home life.

Verse 12.   She will be good for him, because she will help him to achieve all that life and God has to offer him and he will do the same for her.  

This introduces us to a significant level of intimacy in this relationship.  We are told that they are extremely close to each other, so each know exactly what the needs of the other are.  They are vulnerable to each other.  

They are now close, sensitive to each others needs, concerned for each other and know each other.   

In this relationship her husband trusts her with his feelings, his desires, his ambitions and his fears.  In all he ends up with the firm belief, that she is the best woman for him. He does not have the fear that she will embarrass him.  

This women is the glory of the man, and she can be trusted, and she does good to him all the days of her and his life.  This strengthens her man and motivates him to always serve God.  When he falters she is right there to keep the faith in God strong.   

This is what the marriage vow is all about.  Her devotion continues at all times, in good times and bad times, and she never deviates from her high spiritual principles, but always seeks the best for her husband and her family.  She's loyal and trustworthy.

Verse 13.   She knows what the family structure and the economic structure is like. She is fully prepared to engage herself to serving her family. She definitely does not live for herself.  She is prepared to work and is certainly not lazy.  She is industrious.  

A good woman like this seeks to cloth her family; feed her family and works hard.  This is represented by the use of the words wool, flax, and alludes to the fact she works with her hands. Wool is a nice material that can be comfortable and warm.  However, to prepare it until it is manageable requires some effort and time.   

Flax, or flax seed is very nutritious and healthy, which might imply that the woman is working hard to provide the proper nourishment for the family, to maintain their health and well being. 

Verse 14.   The Queen Mother likens her to the ships that go and trade and this implies that she is a hard worker, capable of living a hard life if need be.  At times trade can be hard but is often very rewarding, yielding riches of grace and mercy.   

We are not surprised by this image.  We know that in the Caribbean and other societies, many women are accustomed to go to the market to sell the produce from the farm, and to buy needed items for the home.  This is a woman with business ability therefore and she travels to support her family.  

This obviously means that her husband trusts her to be faithful, to be a wise money manager and not a waster and a spendthrift.  

We are told that in these family relationships there is wisdom, approval and love. When she has to deal with those around her who work with her, she's a great overseer, thoughtful about her workers, and looks after them.  

So she gets along with people and is caring. In her business relationships note she uses her hands and her head, and she is skilful and creative.  She uses her mind.  She's decisive.  She plans ahead.  She knows what she's doing.  She is not scatter brained.  

She organizes, anticipates, sees what is coming down the road, and plans to meet them.  

Obviously she listens to the leading of the Spirit.  Wisdom leads her.  She searches for the best and then she closes her deals.  

Clearly, when we think about it, there are many women who have done great things for their family.  So if we think about our past, and the people that we grew up with, we realize that it is not as difficult as it appears to be like this woman.  

There are very many unsung heroines, who have followed the directions of Proverbs 31. Problem is, what the world today holds up as the ideal is not what Proverbs 31 advocates as the ideal, and so we miss seeing these beautiful woman around us, thinking that they are not so great, when it fact they are the greatest.

Verse 25.   This industrious woman makes her husband look good.  She is not necessarily rich, for she is frugal and does not buy everything she sees without extensive analysis.  As a result her husband developed a reputation, one built substantially by his wife, and so he becomes successful in politics, since he is so well-known and respected.  

We see what it means to be a strong, honorable woman.  There is no hint of her being domineering, disrespectful to her husband or speaking evil of her husband.  She does him good and not evil and so he has a great reputation in the community, for all know and that his wife is truly a wife.  

This woman is bound to reap the rewards of her beauty. Her moral and spiritual qualities are like clothing, completely surrounding her, and they ensure that she will rejoice in the future, for she has built up real treasures.   

Her adorning is therefore not simply that of pretty clothes, and elaborate jewellery. 1 Peter 3:3 therefore recommends to Christ ian woman that they emulate this true woman of God

“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands.”

Verse 26.  This woman knows God and so is led by wisdom.  When she opens her mouth to speak, she clearly has something important to say, it is not just talking to be heard. She's thoughtful, her actions guided by wisdom.  It is clear from the text that she's not concerned with gossip or tale-bearing, but with only the truth and with things that are valid.  

In this last chapter which summarizes wisdom, she epitomizes wisdom, for wisdom means skilful living.  

She has obviously learned about the things of God well.  She has heard wisdom crying in the streets and has met wisdom at the crossroads as well as at her gates.  

She has learned integrity, and she shows it.  

We know that there were many pressures in ancient societies, for life then was rough.  There are many dangers, but despite all of that she remained kind, with a mouth full with kind words, and with words of wisdom.  

This kind of woman with practical, gracious wisdom shows no anxiety about the future.  She's not tense, moody or always under stress.  She does not worry about tomorrow for she clearly knows that she is in the hands of God.  

In all her dealings, with children, servants, neighbors and husband, she is deeply sensitive and kind.  She does not let herself be controlled by her tragedies, her pain and self-recrimination when she makes mistakes.  She is both wise and kind.

Verse 27.  Her sense of duty is amazing.  She concerns herself with the stabilization and growth of her household, and the related domestic affairs.  She does not do evil in either word or deed, she is not idle, for she's always about doing her work, whether God's work or the work of supporting the household in which she lives.  

Her life is filled with good relationships, and she's creative and hard-working.  Obviously she rejects those who are idle, who waste time on foolish things and definitely she does not go house to house carrying tales.

Verse 28.    She is strong, dependable, eminently sensible and this woman, the crown of her husband, who brings her family such esteem, is blest by both children and husband.  There is deep approval and mutual love.  She deserves praise and she gets it.  

There is great reason to praise her.  The foolish ones that follow the world, who really are displaying an inner sickness, are not the ones to be praised, for God does not take delight in them.  God takes pleasure in those that fear him according to Psalm 147:11. 

He keeps His eye on her, according to Psalm 33:18.  

Note that in praising her we are honoring God.  When we praise the things that God likes, you are praising God too.  

In praising a woman such as this we are also strengthening her in the Lord and in doing that we would be feeling good in your soul.  

Children are quite smart. 

Note that it is first stated that her children rise up and praise her.  They see things that many times us adults do not see.  They have time to watch her up close, when she does not know they are watching her.  She cannot hide from them, they know everything she does and they examine, analyze, and assess her every move.  She cannot fake it with her children.  

So if her children bless her and praise her, we know she's pretty good.  

Her husband is of course biased, for he loves her dearly and he knows in his adult way that she has done great things for him.

Verse 29.  She is an ideal woman in many respects, for compared to other women, she, clearly because of wisdom does well and God approves of her.  

It is possible for women to excel in their beauty, and we now know what they have to do to truly excel.  

She goes over and above all that the others have done.  In the race she comes out on top.  As a result everyone pronounces blessings on her, and her husband sings her praise.  

This verse is the testimony of the husband about her.  He loves, and he has been blessed.  He does not keep quiet about it, but broadcasts her beauty and integrity and wisdom to the entire world.  

He is calling on other women to do better and to catch up with her.  This kind of man would want other men to have a great wife too.  

Verse 30.  Here we have the summation of the whole thing.  We now know how to identify a woman who fears the Lord.  She does not run away from God.  Isaiah 8:13 teaches what she has learned

“Sanctify the Lord of hosts himself: and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread. And he will become your sanctuary.”  

Note that we will then be under the shadow of his wings and there is no need to fear when a person is there.  There is wisdom there.  

This woman was not necessarily the most beautiful woman around physically.  Sometimes beauty is just packaging, appealing, seductive, quite nice, but not true substance.  It is alluring, and dangerous.  

Character is the only lasting, really beautiful trait in a person.  

It is very difficult to resist beauty in a woman.  But this wise Queen Mother knew that beauty was often only skin deep.  On top of that physical beauty more often than not does not last too long.  

A woman's relationship with God is the key thing, for if she has an excellent relationship with God, fearing God, her relationships with people would be excellent, and she will know how to use her gifts in an outstanding fashion.  

If she knows God well and always submits to the Spirit, making him guide her, she must be praised.  

Charm and beauty lack substance and will not last long.  It is our relationship with God that will last and make us successful.  

We should fear God and in doing so we will find that anything that God does not like we will not like it.  

This woman did not focus on her own appearance, but instead focused on the thoughts of God for her.  So she did nothing that was displeasing to God.  This is amazing.  

As a result of a relationship with God, she had a wonderful family, workers who thought highly of her, townspeople who respected her and her husband. She mixed with the poor who thought highly of her and excellent relationships all around.  

That kind of person should be praised.  

It is not her accomplishments that really are to be praised but her deep spirituality and fear of the Lord.  That brought gifts and skill in living.  It brought dignity and strength.  It brought inner beauty.  

There was no fear of the future for she was in the hands of God.

CONCLUSION

Everyone is invited by the called of wisdom.  God will not waste time calling us if we could not be immensely benefited by embracing the Spirit.  

It is possible that all women and men can respond.   

It is also possible that men would open their eyes and listen to the wisdom of the Queen Mother, looking not for the outward, transitory, fleeting beauty but looking for character implanted by God himself.