Called to Relationships
Study Scripture: 1 Corinth ian s 7:2 - 15
Lesson 5

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Key Verse

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

1 Corinth ian s 7:7

 

INTRODUCTION

Our lesson today deals with a subject that is often avoided in the church and that is the issue of the true meaning of marriage and sexual intimacy in marriage. The word of God however is quite explicit in dealing with the matter of sexuality.  

To properly understand this lesson, we have to look briefly at what the Scriptures and Paul specifically taught about our bodies and the spiritual nature of our sexuality.  

First, Paul had just talked in chapter 6 that our bodies are members of Christ, which means that we are “one” in spirit with Christ and members of Christ.  Our bodies are also described as “temples of the Holy Spirit”. Logically then, sex is not to regarded as being of little or no importance and its nature and practice would obviously be determined by the nature, desires and commands of God.  

Paul taught what God wanted.  Genesis 2 talked that it was good that man have a suitable helper, a wife to be his companion and counterpart.  

Proverbs, which we just studied, specifically 5:15-19, instructed us:

“Drink water out of  thine own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone, And not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.”

In addition, the entire book of the Songs of Solomon, was written to teach us of the beauty of marital love and sexuality when practiced as directed by God.  

God frowned on dev ian t sexual behavior of any sort.  There was to be one man married to one woman.  Fornication, used as a general term for sexual immorality, described something awful in the sight of God.  Man-to-man, woman to woman, human to animals sexual relations was an abomination in the sight of God.  Those who practice these things would never enter the New Heaven and the New Earth.  So taught both the Old and New Testament.  

Second, let us be careful about imposing our concepts of marriage on the religious community, presuming that our approach to matters of love and marriage do not contain significant cultural elements.  

This is important, because in many cultures marriages are arranged by parents and the people live contented and happy lives, more so than many in our Western world, who think that marriage is best determined by what we call “love”.  

In fact, in biblical times marriages were generally arranged and people met sometimes for the first time on their wedding day.  In this marriage relationship, people had a sense of their relationship to each other, lived in an environment of approval and belonging, experienced intimacy and great feelings, given their original decision to give themselves to one another. “Love” however defined flowered later.  

Third, we must approach this matter understanding that we do not live in an ideal world, with ideal families and that ‘normal’ families struggle with difficulty and uncertainty at all times and in various ways.  The structure of families is generally the result of bad or good relationship decisions in the past and unfortunately these real people often have real problems and some struggle in their marriages.  This brings us to our next point.  

Corinth in the first century was certainly not better than the cities or population centers in our day and in fact was significantly worse.  As a result the beliefs and practices of those in the church varied greatly in matters of sexual conduct.   

In chapter 5 Paul had to even rebuke the church in Corinth for not disciplining a man living in an incestuous relationship with his father's wife; something not even the pagan Corinth ian s would do.   

He also had to rebuke them for having members  that patronized prostitutes and not understanding that this was contrary to their spiritual position in Jesus and detrimental to their spiritual life.  

The world of the Corinth ian s was very troubled and the Greeks definitely were not known for their sexual purity.  They had a distorted view of women, sex, and marriage.  Prostitution was an integral part of Greek life and was a commonly accepted practice of life.  One famous writer said:

“We have courtesans for the sake of pleasure; we have concubines for the sake of daily cohabitation; we have wives for the purpose of having children legitimately, and having a faithful guard ian for all our household affairs”.  

When describing Roman society, the famous Seneca wrote that women were married to be divorced and divorced to be married.  

One Roman poet, Martial, tells us about the woman who had ten husbands.  Another writer, Juvenal, discussed one woman who had eight husbands in five years. Jerome spoke of a woman who was married to her twenty-third husband and she herself was his twenty-first wife. There are many examples of this terrible behavior by even the Roman Emperor Augustus and the famous Cicero, among others.  They all trivialized marriage and relationships and divorced and marry for money and other reasons.  

In Jewish society the situation was unfortunately not much different, for women were not always reverenced by Judaism. Josephus wrote when describing the position of women in Paul’s day:

“The woman is worse than the man in everything.”  

The Jewish synagogue prayer book records the daily prayer for a man as follows:

“I thank Thee, O Lord, that Thou hast not made me a Gentile dog nor a woman.”  

We must understand that Jesus’ attitude to women was quite revolutionary and even scandalous in the eyes of the society of his day.  His teaching elevated women to a high position, contrary to what was practiced in the society and in the pagan world which surrounded Israel .  

Paul's teaching was designed to elevate women, sex and marriage to the high level that God intended and Paul was in fact fighting an uphill battle. 

It is amazing when we hear women say that Paul was sexist, did not respect women and preached the inequality of the feminine sex. The Scriptures however show that in every case, Paul reflected and led people along the biblical path as taught by God.  

Paul taught the proper mores of marriage in this extremely pagan city with its great temple to Aphrodite and its temple priestesses, which would come down into Corinth every evening to ply their trade.  

When we look at the prevailing philosophy of the times, we see a lot of weird doctrines.  Some in this sexually oriented society, thought that the body was completely evil and since the body was totally evil it didn't matter what you did with your body. You could do whatever you wanted, commit fornication or whatever.  For these it was the spirit that mattered and the deeds of the body did not affect the spirit.  

Others held the strong belief that since the body was totally evil, one should not do any of the things the body desired, even if they seemed to be natural.  If one was married one should restrain from sexual relations with their spouse, except perhaps for procreation and definitely not for pleasure; since the urges and desires of the body was evil.  

This was asceticism and the belief has popped up many times in history, leading to monasticism, a very popular practice in the Middle Ages. It was a time when people withdrew from contact, since they viewed sex itself as dirty and unworthy, extolling the celibate state as representing a higher level of spirituality.  

The retreat to monasteries was a disaster in many respects. It did not work to suppress the sex drive then and any similarly unhealthy and ungodly approach to sexuality and intimacy, will not succeed today in the church of God ; just as it was definitely not constructive in Corinth or in the pagan societies.

THE TEXT

Verse 1.   Paul now comments on things either written to him by advice seekers in the church, or in response to the doctrinal writings of the false teachers in Corinth, sent to Paul to present their case and to ‘enlighten’ the apostle.  

The expression ‘not to touch a woman’ refers to sexually intercourse, not to marriage. The Corinth ian ascetics, were against the sexual freedom ideas of the hedonists in the church, were definitely against sexual activity, for they taught that sex was dirty weather in or out of marriage.   

They loved the idea of universal abstinence, probably feeling that this was super-spirituality, given the fact that Jesus taught that angels did not engaged in sexual activity.  

In any case, they would have argued that one could see the immense dangers in sexual activity and immorality in a city like Corinth and so they thought that since sexually immorality was so dangerous, abstaining from sex even in marriage would help the Christ ian life.  

Let us not laugh at this attitude, for some churches teach similar perversions and rationalize behavior which goes against God's desire for sexual purity in relationships.

Verse 2.   Paul deals with the view of these ascetics gently, but note that he does not say that they are totally off base, but instead indicates that there are errors in their thinking and conduct.  

Note that as he discusses this matter, he does say in verses 6-9 that celibacy or sexual abstinence can be beneficial under some circumstances, but it should not be regarded as the norm, or applicable in every situation. He even states that there was nothing wrong with the single life, as long as it is lived in chastity, but he also says that marriage is definitely right.  

Remember now that this is not a complete answer to every question, or a detailed theology of marriage.  If you're interested in this topic also see Ephes ian s 5:21-33 and Coloss ian s 3:18-19 among other passages.  

It is obvious that Paul is putting forward a strong pro-marriage imperative.  The security of marriage is necessary if one is to grow spiritually.  Marriage is an imperative for sexual expression, to cultivate sexual intimacy and it provides a secure status for growing in relationship.  

The highlight is of course on sex in marriage and the proper use of the body's sexual powers.  

Chapter 6 has already dealt with sex outside of marriage.  

Paul says several important things.  First, sex within marriage does give relief from sexual pressures.  

Note however, that neither Paul nor the Scriptures say that the major reason for marriage is in order to free yourself from sexual drives. What he is saying, is that since we live in a sex oriented society, when we are married, it does liberate us in this area.  It helps.  When in a marriage, there is a relief from the tremendous insecurity in promiscuity.  

Note right now that this is totally contradictory to the claims of some churches, including the Catholics. Their view is that sex was given to us only for procreation, for carrying on the race.  Paul says that it provides mutual pleasure to those in that state, as well as providing protection from the iniquities of the world.  

This is God's design.  He made us that way for a reason.  So we can match this verse up with Hebrews 13: 4 which tells us:

“Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled.”  

Clearly then there is no biblical mandate for keeping sexual matters secret, hidden from view, for that goes against God's intention of teaching us something about ourselves.  

On the other hand, it is clear that all other sexual relationships, whether with prostitutes, mistresses, adulterers, fornicators, and anything else, are immoral.

Verse 3.   Having confirmed that if a person wanted to express his or her sexuality, there must be marriage to one spouse only; Paul now goes on to counsel husbands and wives. He states that they must understand that each has authority over the other’s body.  There is a duty that both parties have one to the other.

God has decreed that there is a mysterious obligation that each spouse is called on to render to the other.  Sexual intimacy is therefore an obligation.  The Greek literally says, “give back that which is owed”.  

Clearly there is a missing need in the partners and God has designed sex in marriage to fulfill this missing need, for the fulfillment of each partner.  The Songs of Solomon clearly shows the pleasure, enjoyment and ecstasy that God intends this activity to give.  

Now there is a critically important lesson to be learned from this.  Both spouses thereby learn that God wants a commitment to meeting the need of the other.  This intimate commitment is critical.  It is the place where one learns that one must give of oneself to meet the needs of others.   

If this lesson is not learned in the marriage context and the believer is not able to practice and develop this requirement of God in that situation, the believer will never be able to understand the lesson, that giving of oneself to ensure that others fulfill the purpose that God intends for them, is essential in the Christ ian walk.  

Note clearly however that Paul does not tell husband or wife to demand their sexual rights whenever they feel it like it.  

The Apostle is counselling so that each spouse understands that they have the right to give as a gift, the fulfillment of these sexual desires.  The responsibility flows from the fact that they are fulfilling their responsibility to the Lord, basing their human relationship firmly on their relationship with the Lord. They are in fact doing what the Lord has asked them both to do in giving mutual fulfillment and satisfaction in marriage and not just operating on a selfish, self-centered satisfying of a person's own desire.

Verse 4.   Paul now can move smoothly into the issue of the giving up of authority over our own bodies, surrendering personal independence.  

It is most clearly stated that married persons no longer have control over their own bodies, for by entering marriage they have surrendered authority over their bodies to their spouses.  This of course is totally and radically against the teaching of the prevailing culture, then and now.  

This is true servanthood, for the power to give sexual fulfillment is now relinquished to the other. Obviously one spouse cannot fulfill his or her self sexually, so it is obligatory for each to be surrendered to each other.  

This of course rules out sexual relations as a bribe or reward for good behavior, or use as a threat or punishment, or demanding attitudes, but rather sensitivity to each other's needs.  

It is stated so that no one can misunderstand. The husband does not have authority over his body, but the wife does; and the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.  

This is not a culturally determined matter. Note also it is given in the context of believers who are in Christ.  This does not give authority for sexual perversions and other God forbidden activities and so it is nothing that should engender fear in any of the spouses.  Both are “in Christ” and must behave accordingly.

Verse 5.   This awesome responsibility for mutual giving and benefit, is now stressed.  There is a serious danger in sexual deprivation and thus the warning; “stop robbing”, “stop defrauding”, no cheating someone out of something that properly belongs to them.  

Paul now deals with the only exception and reason for sexual abstinence in marriage.  This is an extremely narrow exception, give the precedence that sexual responsiveness has in the life of believers.  

There are three conditions that must be met for abstinence.  Note them carefully.

First, both parties must agree voluntary, no manipulation or force.

Second, abstinence must only be for a short period of time.

Third, it is only allowed when it is spiritually motivated, to enable the requesting partner to focus and concentrate on communion with the Lord by prayer and fasting.  

Paul insists that the believer be very careful in this matter, for if they are not careful, they would be presenting Satan with an opportunity to score, getting advantage over that believer.  

A spouse therefore cannot become so spiritually minded that they pushed away their mate.  That would be wrong behavior.  

A similar situation in behavior existed in Israel in the behavior of the scribes and Pharisees where they misused the explicit direction of God and came up with their own personal excuse for doing what they wanted.  Jesus forbade that behavior and condemned it.  

Remember that God had told them to support their parents, but they did not do this, claiming instead that instead of giving the money to their parents, they had given their money to God.  This was the same type of hyper spirituality that Paul was warning the Corinth ian s against.  The scribes and Pharisees were using a ruse to avoid their responsibilities.  Paul warned the Corinth ian against this practice. That behaviour simply allowed Satan to get an advantage over them.   

The feelings of rejection in a spouse would inevitably lead to growing bitterness, anger, and resentment.  Satan would gain a foothold to bring much damage as time went on.  Remember the Devil is always there, ready, willing and able to damage the work of God and deny to people the gifts and benefits that God has given them.

Verse 6.   Now let us remember that Paul is speaking as an Apostle of Jesus Christ.  Even when he tells us that Jesus has not specifically given him direct, verbal instructions on this matter, he is operating totally under the control of the Holy Spirit.  Nothing he says is contradicted in Scripture.  This is apostolic instruction with full apostolic authority.  

If we think about it, we will realize that Jesus’ ministry was mainly to Israel and for them there was no need to go into extensive teachings on marriage.  He was only called on to deal with a few esoteric or philosophical questions on marriage.  Often, He simply had to remind the scribes and Pharisees and the people about what God had previously stated in his law, what was “written”. So Jesus did not speak generally outside of a certain context.   

Paul and the other apostles however, in their witness to the Gentile communities, had to operate under the Spirit and deal with all these extraordinary questions of marriage and mixed marriages, which would have seemed incredible to Jews.  So Paul was free, under the guidance of the Spirit, to relate what God wanted.  That was his right as an Apostle.  What he said was Scripture, inspired, and demanding of our obedience.  

We today certainly cannot and do not have that apostolic right. We cannot write Scripture.  Anyone who suggests otherwise is really a fraud and a deceiver, and in addition evil.

Verse 7.   Here Paul recognized the benefits of celibacy, that is abstaining from marriage and thus from sex.  

He presents celibacy as well as marriage, as both gifts from God, given by the sovereign hand of God, both legitimate and blessed ways of life.  

In both cases one has to have one or other of the spiritual gifts.  One should not prefer marriage because this is higher spirituality and neither should they prefer celibacy because this is higher spirituality.  The decision should be made on practical concerns as he explains later.   

Remember also that he had told Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:1-3 that “forbidding to marry” was a “doctrine of demons”.  

Both states were gifts from God.  He preferred the single state for it enabled him to dedicate himself to a single goal.  He simply desires that men should be free from distractions and so devote themselves to serve God, but he would never impose this on the Corinth ian s.   

He never regarded celibacy as a spiritually superior state.  It was simply a matter relating to one’s enablement and calling.

But we note that celibacy, though bringing certain advantages in the work of Christ, is not easy.  Jesus dealt with this in

Matthew 19:11-12.  

Paul also deals with the difficulties of this life in 1 Corinth ian s 9:4-6 where he discusses the position of himself and Barnabas.  

We also note that Revelation 14:3-4 speaks of the celibate one hundred and forty four thousand with difficulties of their own but special blessings also.

Verse 8.   Paul can then appeal to the unmarried and to widows that they remain single if they are enabled to follow in his path of total commitment to the work of God.  Note that in another place he encouraged the young widows to get married.  

We see that these are practical considerations in the choice of marriage versus the choice of celibacy.

Verse 9.   There is no point in being single and miserable and unhappy because one is single, for that is no advantage to the work of God. So Paul advises those singles who are bothered by their drives, and who do not have enough self-control to marry, instead of being unable to satisfy their desires.  If the physical struggle is too severe, then marry.  

Of course, there is a practical question about why those that are wanting to marry cannot or are unable to do so.  

It might be that they remain unmarried for several reasons which we can outline.  Maybe there is a problem because there are lessons that they have not learned about themselves, fears that they have not conquered in Christ, an arrogance about them that they are not really aware of and on which they have to work so that eventually they will find suitable partners.  Or maybe they have set such high standards and demanded standards from potential spouses that are unrealistic, or possibly they have not yet learned that pursuing career and material success is essentially unfulfilling.  

There are many reasons and those that are single must consider that Paul is giving them an apostolic assignment.  If they want to be married, the must ask themselves and their brethren in Christ what about them needs to be changed, so that they can enter into the married state.   

They should then place their energies which they had previously put into feeling miserable, into the positive direction of changing themselves to become more attractive, as they often undoubtedly are.  

But then it must be said that it is appropriate to remain single throughout your life and it is appropriate to be married.  

Remember that character does not happen overnight and we should listen to the apostles, obey them and grow. There will be great benefits thereby to both the single and the married.  

Verse 10.    Now Paul addresses the married couples and forces us to confront the serious and major social problem of the break-up of marriages.  

Let us remember the context.  Divorce was common in the great Greek cities like Corinth and Athens and in the great Roman cities. It was worse then in most other pagan places in that world and certainly more than it is even in our deteriorating world today.  

So Paul, in view of the extremely bad situation in these pagan societies, emphasizes first the fundamental position of Scripture.  

This is that marriage is intended for life.  A difficult marriage, irreconcilable differences, incompatibility, or the other modern reasons given for divorce, conflict openly with the Word of God.   

So Paul begins: I am charging you, I am commanding you as the appointed spokesman of God himself, bringing you His word and he quotes Jesus’ words from Matthew 5, and 19, as well as from Mark 10.   

Remember that there is no difference between the inspired teaching of the apostles and the inspired teaching that Jesus made directly.  We are dealing with the authority of the Lord in every case.  

Paul is reminding the people that Malachi in 2:16 states unequivocally that God hates divorce.  God does not intend for that dreadful situation to happen.  He does not prefer for people to break marriages and become single, even if they say they are doing this in the cause of greater holiness or greater spirituality.

Verse 11.   But having said that we must also state unequivocally that God permits divorce, permitting what he hates.  

Let us remember that God hates sin, but that he allows that to continue.  He allows the brethren to continue to make wrong decisions, even though he hates the decisions that they make.  

We also know that God is not willing that any should perish, but he permits some to perish and allow many around us to continue in their perishing, since they do not come to believing faith in Jesus Christ.  

There is a place for separation and divorce, even though God does not like it and he says he does not like it at all.  

Remember also that it was God speaking through Moses that permitted divorce in Israel .  Moses did not take it on himself to permit divorce, thinking it all up by himself.  Moses was a spokesman for God and had no authority to place his personal understanding or will over that of God. He never did that in this matter.  

Jesus acknowledged that and he never criticized Moses for permitting divorce. Jesus said it was permitted because of the “…hardness of hear…t”, a phrase which meant stubborn wilfulness, expressed determination to do things the way you want to and not to heed the word of  God.  

That kind of ‘hard heart’ cannot be instructed and will not listen, no matter what God says.  That heart is like the heart of Pharaoh, who when Moses went to him with what God wanted, he rejected all opportunities, doing things in the way he wanted to and despite the repeated punishment inflicted on him, insisted on following his own desire.  

So this is what we face when we are talking about the circumstances that Paul says should be avoided in marriage.  If one refuses to listen to God, one will depart from their spouse, says Paul.  

Paul recognizes that the situation in which a spouse can find his or herself can sometimes become extremely difficult, but insists that the believer should never be responsible to bring about an end to the marriage.   

Paul knows he is talking to real people with real problems and so he instructs that if married believers do separate, they must remain unmarried or be reconciled eventually.  Separation must be simply therapeutic and engaged in to eventually lead to reunion.  

Believers should not take the ultimate step of divorce and then of remarriage, for God must be allowed to bring about ultimate reconciliation.  They cannot make it impossible for God to act to save their troubled marriages.  Storms and stresses in marriage do not mean that God is not committed to work through these circumstances to build a future, better, lasting relationship.  This is advice for Christ ian husbands and Christ ian wives and it comes from the Lord.  

Now it must be recognized that Paul is not here contradicting Jesus’ teaching by deliberately ignoring the exception that Jesus gave.  

Paul was being equally as emphatic as Jesus in Matthew 19, where the scribes and Pharisees questioned Jesus on the reasons for divorce, coming at him with the presuppositions that made the exception the rule.  

Jesus however stressed what God wanted, God's intention he stressed the ideal and under stressed the exception.  

But Jesus did give us the very narrow exceptions and he expected Christ ian s to obey what he said.  On three occasions in the Gospels Jesus said that divorce was wrong, unless it is for adultery or for sexual infidelity.  That cannot be gainsaid and set aside by anyone and Paul clearly did not intend to do that.  

Paul was doing exactly the same thing as Jesus did, when he was dealing with people who lived in a city and attended a church where some thought that divorce was ‘spiritual’ and very permissible.  

Paul's statement was intended to be strong and it forbade divorce for a Christ ian couple, who despite their pagan background, should never experience ‘hardness of heart’, since they had been washed and regenerated. These teachings apply equally to males and females.  

His separation teaching does not undercut his position, but as he indicates, separation provides the opportunity for God to take away this ‘hardness of heart’.  So the advice is to work out the problem within marriage and if not remain single.

Verse 12-13.    Paul now addressed those with mixed marriages.  Paul now speaks in his apostolic position, clarifying that Jesus did not deal with this question when he was on earth.   

Remember again that there are not two levels of authority.  All authority, all inspiration comes from the Spirit, whose mind is exactly the same as the mind of Jesus.  

First, let us point out that the Scriptures, as we are reminded in

2 Corinth ian s 6:4, tells us that believers should not marry unbelievers.   

Even when a woman becomes a widow and Paul says she's free to marry whom she wishes, he tells her that she should marry only in the Lord.  So there are restrictions for believers.  

But remember the important fact that marriage is not only given to Christ ian s but it is given to the entire race of mankind.  God recognizes non-Christ ian marriages as valid marriages and therefore becoming a believer after a marriage does not change one’s marriage from still being a valid marriage.  

Paul is saying that the relationship in a mixed marriage did not defile the believer as did involvement with temple prostitutes.  This was a totally different situation.  Entering into a marriage with an unbeliever is different from being in a marriage where one spouse remains an unbeliever.  

So Paul urges the believer to do everything possible to maintain and preserve the marriage. If the marriage was in force before one believed, do everything to maintain it.  Separation is not a recommended course and neither is divorce, despite the pressures in the society and in the church.  

If the unbelieving spouse is willing to stay in the marriage, that is sufficient for faithfulness.  

It is obvious that there were many in the church that had come to faith in Christ, but had been unable to convince their partners that they too should accept Christ as Savior.

Verse 14.   It seems that in God's eyes, the believing saint has been given a ministry.  No defilement attaches to the believer in this ministry, but instead the unbelieving spouse who is in daily contact with the believer experiences something special.  They are “sanctified”, that is, brought into daily contact with the Lord and thus separated from the world. In a real sense they experience special blessing, the value of which should not be underestimated.  

The children of the believing spouse are not to be considered unclean, unable to draw near to God and learn about God and excluded from the community of believers.  The firmness in the faith of the believing partner helps the children of the union.  There is every possibility of the unbelieving spouse coming to Christ and this must be encouraged.  The children are protected by the believing parent and their salvation will not be lost if they die before the age of accountability.

Verse 15.   Still there is no guarantee that the unbelieving spouse will ever come to Christ.  They cannot be forced into salvation and regeneration.  Holding onto them by force despite their determination to leave, is not going to lead to them being saved.  But the believing spouse should not be responsible for the break-up of the marriage to the unbeliever.  

The marriage can be terminated if the non-Christ ian decides to leave.  

An interesting question is what is meant by the believing spouse not being “under bondage” if the unbeliever decides to leave or does leave.  

Every scholarly interpretation of the Greek phrase indicates that this means that the believing spouse is permitted to remarry, especially where the unbeliever remarries; for there is no way the original husband or wife could remarry that person according to

Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  

The reason for no manipulation or extraordinary force to stop the desertion by the unbelieving spouse, is that God has called us to peace.  The continued bickering and fighting that would ensue is not honoring to God.

CONCLUSION

The lesson we can learn is that a person can live for God wherever they are. Irrespective of their position in life God can work in their life.  

The warning is quite clear.  A person should be careful about trying to undo the past with respect to relationships.  One should simply repent of sin wherever it is, and move on.  

Christ ian s should never underestimate how all-powerful God is.  No matter how stormy the relationship, no matter whether there is separation, believing partners should never fall victim to the temptation that reconciliation is impossible.  

God can do anything and can restore any marriage, no matter how bad it is. If you're already married to an unbeliever, pray for God to bless that unbelieving spouse, for God is an all-powerful Savior and life giver.  

Clearly, God takes marriage seriously and so should.  It is intended to be permanent and it is a symbol of something much greater.  

It is a call to us to re-examine ourselves and realize that there is the relationship between spirituality and sexuality.  God has determined that relationship.  He calls for Christ ian s to behave in appropriate fashion.  

It is not sinful to be married, and it is not sinful to be single. It is not sinful to be frequently intimate in marriage.  

Both the state of being single and being married may be important to keeping a saint from sinning and both states can be the means to serve God.  

It might be the calling of some to stay single and thus be sexually inactive.  If God wants that for us,  we should use our situation for the glory of God and for the promotion of the gospel.

But if we are like the majority of people, for whom the single life and sexual abstinence is not the rule, obey the instructions of God.   

Be the servant to the other spouse that God designed and live the healthy life, sexually and otherwise, avoiding immorality at all costs.  What really matters is obedience to God.  There is to be no place for hardheartedness.  

There are many examples of godly women in Scripture and they are many cases of ungodly women such as Jezebel.  Follow the good and reject the bad.  

Men should follow the example of the godly men of Scripture, as they followed the Lord. Learn from their mistakes, and do not repeat them.  

Mistakes always bring unpleasant consequences. May we always call on the Holy Spirit to keep us pure. May we always listen to His voice and obey Him.