INTRODUCTION

We have looked at Jacob's dream at Bethel and God's promise to always be with him, protecting him and providing for him. So we can imagine that when Jacob left Bethel his steps were light, for now he had a new hope, a new sense of direction and confidence, for now he had God's assurance that he would return home and inherit the blessings of Abraham. 

Little did he know what was awaiting him! 

When we read the story we are inclined to think that this is a story of poetic justice.  Jacob had been a double dealer and what he had done to others was now to be done to him.  He would reap what he had sown. Jacob the consummate deceiver, would be outwitted by his uncle Laban. This man was even trickier and more sly than his sister Rebekah. 

Moreover, driven by his passions, quite similar to the kind of passion that drove his brother Esau and which allowed him to trick his brother, he would end up being stuck with a wife that he did not care for and being forced to live with her. 

It is important to note however that though we like to see that Jacob got what he deserved

and to feel that this is the main theme of the story (remarkably similar to the themes of modern soap operas), it'll be more profitable for us to look at this as God's gracious dealing with a man, who would be established as a patriarch, who would be the father of the twelve tribes of Israel, the chosen people of God. 

We can learn that if there was hope for Jacob, there can be hope for us too.  God's firm hand of discipline is a good thing. 

Note the caution that if we do not control our passions and examine it by the truth of God, we will wake up one day jolted into reality, realizing that we have made a terrible mistake.  

Desires can make us think we are doing something good, but desire can make us end up like Jacob, lamenting that someone has tricked us, when we in reality we have tricked ourselves. 

This lesson will also show us that God can produce good ‘fruit’ even from a troubled marriage. In these troubled situations God is working and forming us, changing us and preparing us to be the kind of persons that he wants.

We will also learn that God “sees” or “hears” people when they are being oppressed.  When we are “unloved” or feel “unloved” God hears us and sees your plight.  He will react to your cries. 

This story actively delves into the relationships between men and women, how men treat women and have always treated them and how women treat men.  It teaches us many important lessons about human nature. As one writer states:

“These are two women who have had the life squeezed out of them.  The Lord sees this, and he acts.”

THE CONTEXT

Verses 1-14.  This is a most interesting section of the chapter for it has many lessons for single men and women who want to get married one day. As well it has valuable lessons for others who are already married. 

We are told that Jacob goes toward the land of the people of the East in search of a bride and shelter from Esau's vengeance.  He is heading out of the Promised Land and straight into the danger brought by people who do not really know God as they should.  We are not told that he prays for divine guidance in choosing this bride, as Abraham's servant had done before. 

He is now alone and on foot, with no camels and no dowry.  We know that Isaac was very wealthy and he must have known that wherever Jacob sought a bride, the people would expect a dowry.  But it seems that he allowed Jacob to leave empty-handed, without even a satchel full of jewellery and so was forced to work with his hands.  This was done probably to teach him the value of hard work and to punish him for his deception of Isaac.  We do not know why Isaac did this to him, but it is clear that Jacob was to pay a heavy price for his sin and deception.  

So Jacob searches for Haran, Laban, and a daughter of Laban.  He comes to a well and sees the strange sight of some flocks of sheep gathered around the well but with the well covered and the flocks not having access to the water.  At that time of day they should have been watered and then taken to pasture. 

Jacob is interested only in knowing how far he was from his destination and when he learns that he is near to Haran, he asks about Laban’s welfare and was assured he and his family were well. The shepherds point out that Laban’s daughter was approaching. They tell him further that they could not water the sheep until all the different flocks had assembled and that they had to wait until the appointed time when the owners would come and roll the stone covering from the well. 

When Rachel, Laban’s daughter, the shepherdess, came at that moment to the well, Jacob did not do the expected thing of first introducing himself, then kissing her and then watering her sheep. Instead without any permission from the well’s owners and ignoring all conventions he jumped ahead of everyone and gallantly rolled away the very large stone from the well all by himself. He then proceeded to water Rachel’s sheep. 

Then further ignoring all social conventions and social customs, he kissed her, lifted up his voice and wept presumably for joy, or because she was so attractive and he told Rachel he was her father's sister’s son and then she ran home to bring the news of the family visitor to her father. 

Laban then came and greets Jacob properly and extends the hospitality that one would expect to a relative. Jacob tells Laban everything. 

We can deduce that Laban figures out that Jacob was penniless, would not be wealthy for quite some time, that his father did not love him and that he was forced by circumstances to leave his family. Undoubtedly, Laban understands Jacob’s position and he realizes that he can use him as a worker, given the fact that Rachel told him how strong he was to remove the stone from the well all by himself.  So he ingratiates himself to make it appear that he is different from Isaac, much more generous and understanding of Jacob, and he says: “Surely thou art my bone and my flesh”. 

Probably overcome with attraction for Rachel, Jacob falls for Laban’s scheme to keep him in Haran and in verse 15 Laban now calls him  “my brother”, but uses the term “serve” and “wages”, which doesn't sound like he intends to treat Jacob as a relative but rather as a hired worker.

Jacob wants a wife, which was a good thing, but note that he does not like Abraham's servant previously seek the Lord in this endeavour.  There was no prayer, no calling on God, no thanking God. 

Jacob was not treating marriage as a spiritual enterprise, with God leading the way.  Jacob did not go to any great lengths to find the right woman. He was just attracted to Rachel the beautiful daughter of Laban and this was instant love, no questions asked, just giving in to a powerful emotional feeling.  There was no question in his mind that the appearance and feelings were the primary factor.  For him this “falling in love” meant that he should marry her. 

Jacob might have felt that his meeting with Rachel was divinely timed, and so God wanted them to meet and to marry.  But if he thought that the “signs” were signs from God and that the circumstances seemed to make the relationship look right, he still should've gone to God for corroboration, tested the relationship, to see whether or not a relationship that looks right might be wrong.  He forgot that signs, appearance and feelings should not be the primary considerations. 

Nowadays we all know after reading these Scripture passages that even if we go to church looking for a spouse among other people that are looking to God, that does not say that we might not run into a ‘wolf in sheep's clothing’. 

We all know that marriage is a completely spiritual endeavour and that we should never rush ahead of God.  The thirst for intimacy, which is good, can lead to deep heartache.  For fulfilling relationships God has to be in charge.

Jacob looks at the older daughter Leah, who has “weak eyes” or eyes lacking in lustre.  We should be careful and not think that this word is used to mean anything demeaning or as having any defect.  It is used in Genesis 18: 17 to mean “tender”.  In Genesis 33:13 the word means “frail”, as children are frail.  Some scholars believe that the phrase actually means that Leah was more refined and delicate. 

The expression seems to mean that Leah was gentle and exhibited tenderness, while Rachel was more fiery and aggressive.  But Jacob was attracted by Rachel's beauty and general behaviour and Laban would have been observing Jacob's desire for Rachel.  Laban would have seen in the month Jacob spent with them that Jacob was a great worker, and since Jacob loved Rachel, both men concluded that this relationship would work to their mutual favour.

Jacob did not want to risk Laban refusing his offer, and so he proposed to work for seven years in exchange for Rachel's hand in marriage.  This was an outrageously generous offer and Laban, though a great bargainer, did not even try to bargain, but accepted immediately without even making a counter offer.  One writer points out in this regard:

“Casual labourers received between one half and the one check in a month in old  Babylonia, so this was a large marriage gift in exchange for Rachel hand”. 

Jacob was determined to marry Rachel and only Rachel. He seems to have forgotten the favouritism of his father and the pain it caused him and now in his frame of mind, he was quite prepared and determined to pain Leah with his preference for Rachel. 

But it is pointed out that Laban was a little vague in what he promised, even though he was positive.  His response to Jacob left him some room to play a trick on Jacob at the end of the seven years.  Laban did not specifically state that after seven years service Rachel would be given to him in marriage, for he only implied it.  The statement in verse 19 uses a pronoun instead of a name, so he could later say that he wasn't specifically speaking of Rachel. 

But Jacob was so much in love and anxious to consummate the marriage, his romantic state of ecstasy made Jacob believe what he wanted to believe. 

So here we are.  Jacob is so much in love that seven years of work looked like “only a few days”.  He was thinking that with Rachel in hand he would be ready to return to the ‘promised land’ quickly on schedule. 

Isaac's “eyes were too dim to see” and Genesis 27: 1 states Jacob took advantage of him.  Now Jacob’s eyes were such that he was not seeing well and this allowed Laban to take advantage of him.

THE TEXT

So now we will look at the tremendous physical appetite in Jacob that caused him to act hastily and get himself into a lifelong commitment.  There was no dependence on God, no asking God for guidance.  It was depressingly similar to Isaac's desire for wild game in exchange for blessing the one that he should not bless.  Both led to tremendous trouble.

Verse 21.   Jacob had served out seven years of labour to Laban for the honour of having Rachel as his wife.  Also, we are told that the years seemed “as days” to Jacob because he loved Rachel.  If we had the same love for God, then serving him would also provide us with a similar experience with respect to time.  There is no doubt that Jacob worked hard to achieve his goal.  It would be nice if all believers worked just as hard to achieve the goals that God has set for us. 

The second point to be made is that, even though we may wonder how long it will be before Jesus returns, we must and should continue to serve him with joy.  We must use the time to enjoy serving the Lord, doing his will until that time.   

Now after the seven years the deal with Laban was that Jacob would be able to claim Rachel as his wife. Boldly and respectfully (because he did not display any other type of behaviour to the contrary), Jacob went to Laban to do just that.  Jacob was blunt in that his purpose was to consummate the marriage.  He was done waiting.  

Note that there was no that doubt there was much romantic passion.  But note also that he speaks of Rachel as payment for services rendered.  It sounds almost as if he had bought a commodity. This sounds quite a bit like Esau who asks for some red stew, and in exchange for which he would give Jacob the birthright.  This was payment for what sounds like a commodity. 

In the case of the father Laban, his attitude was just like he would give up his daughter in exchange for some shekels.  She was bought like goods were bought.  There is no indication that she was asked if she wanted to become a part of this transaction. 

This of course would look as if Laban was happy and wanted to bless Jacob, but somehow we sense that Laban had something else in mind. 

There is no hint that God is in this arrangement.  Remember that we are later told that Laban was an idol worshipper and since we know he was quite a deceiver, we suspect that the God of Abraham is not really around as far as Laban is concerned.

Verse 23.   As previously mentioned, Jacob’s only desire after working the seven years, was to claim Rachel as his wife.  However, Laban organized the wedding feast and it was well into the evening and dark before Jacob had Rachel brought to him.  

 Part of the reason for Jacob’s deception was that it was customary that when the wife was initially brought to her husband she was covered by a veil that was to indicate a sign of purity and humbleness.  As mentioned before it was also dark by this time, and therefore in the land of Haran, the only light was by fire and probably decorative candles. 

The custom was that the husband goes into the bed first, then the bride goes in next, only taking off her veil in bed.  When she is brought to him, it is dark and being veiled he cannot distinguish her from any other woman, since this is their first real time together in this manner.  Other customs exists similar to this but when the bride is brought to the groom in the dark, the bride is introduced and the groom is not to speak or answer upon any account.  If any of these were similar to Jacob’s situation, then he would have trusted and went to bed with her supposing it was Rachel, since he had served the seven years for her. 

Verse 24.   It is told that Leah was given the handmaid of Zilpah to assist her.  Everything seemed to be in place and normal.  Laban was being normal and generous to his daughter. This generosity is somewhat different and certainly less than in the case of Rebekah’s where she was given more servant helpers. 

Note that generosity is not quite an attribute of the people of the East at this stage and Jacob will have to later remind Laban that if God had not spoken to him he would have sent him away empty. 

Clearly, Laban only respects money and power.  If you don't have that he will deceive you and treat you quite badly.  Jacob is to learn that lesson.  It will take away the “dimness” from his eyes. 

The anxious and eager Jacob must have enjoyed the wedding feast. He probably had too much wine.  His passion dominated him then as before and he must have entered into the wedding tent quite exhilarated.

Verse 25.   What a beautiful morning it must have been for Jacob when he awoke. He must have felt “What a beautiful night!” He was in seventh heaven. But what a shock when sunlight came into the tent and he saw that the woman he was holding in his arms was Leah; not Rachel! The deceiver had been deceived. 

Once morning arrived, Jacob saw that he had been deceived by Laban. One lesson that is to be learned from this, is that light brings truth to all actions.  In this case it wasn’t too difficult for the truth to be uncovered about the deception that took place.  Only the light of the day was needed.   

In general evil acts will be revealed by the light that God shines on such actions.  At times Christians are prone to acts under the cover of darkness; others who do not know God are guilty of conspiring day and night to do evil.   

 It must have been disturbing when Jacob realized his uncle had deceived him. One might ask the question, if you cannot trust family, who then can be trusted?  Jacob had trusted Laban since he had served the seven years for Rachel and there is no indication that Laban had been deceitful to this point. 

When the deception was brought to light, Jacob confronted Laban immediately.  Jacob was not a stranger to deceptive schemes.  He might have remembered that he tricked Isaac into blessing him, instead of his brother, thus taking his birthright.  God had a plan that had chosen Jacob as the preferred son, but he acted on his own instead of letting God work things out for himself.  

 Earlier Jacob had pretended to be the older brother and now Leah pretended to be the younger sister. There are a few other individuals that must be accounted for in this action.  Leah and Rachel do share some of the sin of Laban, since they she took part in the deception and did nothing to reveal the lie. 

One might excuse the behaviour of the daughters since both daughters were under the care and some might say the rule of the parents, especially the father until they were married. Laban might have insisted that Leah would be taken in to Jacob and that Rachel must accept it, even though both were aware that Jacob worked the seven years for Rachel.   

It was customary that daughters strictly obey the wishes of their parents.  The question is, when someone wants you to do wrong, do you continue in the lie or do you do the right thing, even against the wishes of your parents and family, maybe even the church.  Man’s will or God’s will.  

Leah made her choice to participate in the lie.  She could have spoken to Jacob before anything really happened that night, but didn’t for her own reasons.  She might have liked Jacob herself and thought that this would be an opportunity to get him.  She herself might have been led by Laban to believe that the contract made was originally for her, so that the first-born would be married first.  Something similar might have been mentioned to Rachel, but with the change made that she would have to let her sister be the one to marry Jacob first, even though it seems clear that Rachel also loved Jacob.   

Now Jacob had worked for Rachel.  Laban had vaguely promised him that, but at the time of consummation, it was Leah.  Jacob had known what was done to him by Laban, but he did not understand or appreciate why Laban would have sinned against God and injured him in this way.  This was probably the meanest trick ever played on earth.  It is clear that Laban committed a sin in this case.   

What we see here is that God used the occasion to teach Jacob a lesson.  Jacob deceived his father and cheated his brother but God did not change his plan to choose Jacob. Jacob acted on his own and now he would realize that he must wait on the plan of God and not act on his own to achieve the plan of God.  

Our disobedience cannot derail the plan of God, in our lives or in general.  God work all things together for good, even evil acts (or disobedience) done by others or Christians, He can make it work it for the good. 

Verse 26.   Who is to say that what Laban said regarding this custom in his country was true.  Even if it was, Jacob had an agreement with him for Rachel and Laban should have seen to it that Leah would be married or made some other arrangements with Jacob, but didn’t.  By this time it seems the plans of Laban was very clear.  He used the idea that this was the way of the people of the land to excuse his actions and even to justify it.  Also, it seems as if he made light of the situation.   

Those that will do evil or wrong, often try to dismiss it with a jest, laugh or smile and while this might be acceptable to some, God frowns on all sin.   

Jacob could do nothing at this point.  He was locked into the situation since he had gone to bed with Leah, supposing that it was Rachel. It seems obvious that he could not put Leah aside for what happened. He would probably have resented Leah for participating in the deception.  But maybe he forgot that he had done the same thing and that his father resented him on account of his prior deception.

Verse 27.   It is difficult to say if Laban was a thoroughly evil man, a man with grave character defects, or just a man trying to look out for his daughters.   

But any action that goes against the will of God is wrong, regardless of good intent.  Jacob's rebuke does not seem to have affected him at all and his excuse looks like one that they had prepared some time before.  He must have known that Jacob would be quite angry at the deception and that Jacob would have attacked him.  A man like Laban would have prepared himself for this confrontation.  Actually his excuse was quite good. 

Laban now tries to appease Jacob by saying that what was done was done, but he was willing to make reparations. Laban asked Jacob to fulfill the week or honeymoon period with Leah and then he will give Rachel to him if he commits to another seven years service.   

Since Jacob’s desire was toward Rachel, it is obvious that Laban was planning towards this end, even though for a man to marry two sisters can mean nothing but trouble, especially when it is clear to everyone, that he favoured Rachel.  

Laban is pictured as a deceptive, manipulator extraordinaire.  He ends up getting exactly what any father would want for his daughters, which is to be married.  Also, from his son-in-law he will get premium quality service for a long time.

In this case, we see God allowed this to happen, but in doing that, God used the events as punishment, giving people what they seem to desire.  The method that they used to achieve their desires, turned out to be loss for them. 

Verse 28-29.   We see that Jacob acquiesced to Laban’s plan and is completely drawn into the scheme.  All Jacob wanted was Rachel and he was prepared to do all that was necessary to have her and so became vulnerable to Laban’s scheme. It is to be noted that later the Mosaic law in

Leviticus 18:18 prohibited marrying two sisters at the same time.  So the people of Israel who are reading this book of Genesis would realize that this entire incident was not according to the will of God. 

It is hard to say what Jacob should have done.  He was now legally bound to Leah, even though his desire was for Rachel.  He could have tried to make it work with Leah, (the daughter that God seemed to prefer as Jacob's wife) so that Laban’s sin would not be compounded, but that was not the case.  He acted before letting God take control of the situation.   

The lesson here is even though we might be wronged in a situation and we feel we have full entitlement to something, an item, a person or whatever it may be, it is best to let God work it out and pray and fast about the situation, or else we might be drawn into a sin not of our making, but nonetheless it becomes part of our lives. 

It was also mentioned that Rachel was given a handmaid Bilhah, which would play a role later on.  

Verse 30.   In accordance with the deal he had made with Laban, Jacob slept with Rachel after the week with Leah and it is noted that he loved Rachel.  Jacob had promised additional years of labour so that he would now work a total of fourteen years of service to Laban in order to get Rachel.  Of course, after getting two wives, Jacob would have no means of supporting them besides continuing to work for Laban.  This man was in a real jam. 

This did set up an awkward situation in the family.  Marrying two women is hard enough, but when they are sisters and one is loved over the other, it is not a good situation at all.  People seemed to have known that Jacob preferred Rachel more than Leah.  I’m sure this made the situation worse.  At least if it was something that was kept in the home, that he preferred Rachel, then the shame might not have been so bad.   

We now know, for the writer that makes it clear that God preferred Leah and intended that she should have been Jacob's wife.  It was from Leah that the two most important tribes Judah and Levi came.  This of course is not to say that the other tribes were not important to God. 

It is not too hard to see that one sin is commonly the inlet of another.  Jealously, envy and pride are sure to be sins that will plague this family due to the strong familial relationships that existed.  The sin of polygamy was a sin, but here Laban and his fellows did not necessarily see it as a sin.  At this point it wasn’t exactly discouraged.   

When Jesus came, he clearly stated that a man should leave his family and take one woman to be his wife.  Therefore, polygamy today is clearly a sin, but then it was still something that was unfortunately somewhat accepted. 

Verse 31.   God might not have liked how Jacob, Laban, or the two sisters behaved, but He worked out His purposes through their weaknesses.  We can clearly see that Leah was hated or not favoured by Jacob and so God had mercy on her, like he had mercy on Hagar.  He blessed Leah with children while Rachel was barren.   

This was important as children were essential to the society of that day.  The blessing of children showed favour in the sight of God.  Rachel had Jacob’s love, but God’s providence in Leah’s life saw her being given the gift of children to balance out the scales of love and providing her with some measure of comfort.  Rachel must have wanted children herself, but she had the love of Jacob.  Leah wanted the love of Jacob, but had to settle with children.  In terms of relationships we can see how complicated it had become.   

In our relationship to Christ, we must always put the love of Christ first, then all other loves, that for our parents, children, siblings, can follow.  In this way, we are able to serve God to our fullest potential.  Rachel did not necessarily do anything wrong, but clearly Leah having children was a sign to Jacob about his lack of affection for her and God might have rebuked him in this way, to open his eyes to the treatment of his wife. 

This portion of the Bible should be seen as a great blessing to all women.  It shows that God will and does minister to a wife and meet her needs even when the husband acts in an ungodly manner.    When God is put ‘front and centre’ and leads in marriages, great things can happen.

Verse 32.   Leah was in a bad situation.  She was married to a man who never wanted her and who refused to give her the love she wanted.  So God saw her affliction and blessed her. 

God had blessed Leah and she had Jacob’s his first son, Reuben. This was the high point of her spiritual life.  Leah had known that this blessing was from God, and that He was looking upon her affliction. Reubén means, “see, a son”, and this name summarized her desperate desire to have Jacob appreciate her.  She now had hope that Jacob would love her a little more, now that she had given him a male child.   

It seems as though Leah was very ambitious in seeking to obtain her husband’s love.  This can be seen due to her situation and how she felt when she had the child.  She did not hate or lay blame to Jacob because of the love he had for Rachel over her.  This testifies to her character. Nor did she reproach him for it, but was laying the grief to her heart where God heard it.  With this first son, she hoped that Jacob would love her.   

Jacob as with men, was capable of having sexual relations and detaching the act from love.  This seems to be the case here, as we know Jacob had more children with Leah.  This was the reason why God allowed her to have so many children, so that the Lord would cause Jacob to love her a little bit more.  However, we can see that God loves all his children, even though he may choose some for special tasks, his love and compassion falls on all of us. 

Verse 33.   Leah’s second son was named Simeon.  His name signifies ‘hearing’.  Leah hoped that all would notice that the Lord has heard her and hopefully cause Jacob to regard her more favourably, since that did not happen with Reuben.  Since Leah and Jacob were married, it was not sinful for them to have sex.  But Leah still knew that, that was all it was to Jacob, just sex. 

So Leah tells us that Jacob's heart is still cold and she names her second son Simeon ‘because the Lord heard that she was unloved’.  Now she seemed to be having no hope that Jacob would be changed.  Her hopes were being dashed for there was not the love like what he felt for Rachel.

Verse 34.   Levi was the third son.  She still hoped with this son Jacob would now become attached to her.  Thus Levi means ‘attachment’.  The pain in the heart of Leah was evident as Jacob’s heart remained cold towards her. Now she's not expressing any expectation that her husband will love her, but was only hoping that he would become attached to her. 

In a normal marriage today, we can see how women might look somewhere else for love, but still Leah remained true to her husband, displaying no sign of a wandering eye.   

This is one lesson that both male and females today can learn from Leah.  The lesson is to consider God as the source of love, compassion and companionship when relationships are not completely balanced. 

Verse 35.   Judah was the last son before Leah ceased child bearing.  She had so named him because she wanted to praise the Lord for the blessing that He had given to her.  Here she seemed to begin to turn her life toward the Lord. 

She now seemed more content to live with the abundant love of God and so she praised God by naming her son Judah.  This time she says she will praise the Lord but we should note that she still remained desperate for Jacob’s love and later began to compete with her sister for his affections. 

There was piety and wisdom in attaching significance to names, as it tended to keep the bearer in remembrance of his duty and the claims of God. 

CONCLUSION

The stage is now set for the tribal rivalry in Israel that was the consequence of the competition between Leah and Rachel for children. 

Jacob was in a difficult situation and his past was catching up with him.  In marriage he was reaping what he had sowed.  Unfortunately he was still sowing what he would later reap. 

There is no doubt that Jacob had been mistreated, both by his mother and by his father, for they had certainly neglected him spiritually and now he was mistreating others.  Unfortunately it seems that children that are mistreated grow up and mistreat others. 

Jacob wanted a lot for himself and God wanted a lot for him, but before He could give him what He intended, God had to prepare Jacob for more.  He used his marriage to prepare and to form Jacob. 

The tragedy of chapter 29 is that all of this was unnecessary and would never have happened if Isaac had behaved as Abraham had done in arranging marriages for his children according to the commandment of God. But for his part Jacob and his two wives set the stage for the tribal rivalry which so plagued Israel in its history. 

So when the people of Israel read this chapter and when we read it, we should learn that we should not think too highly of ourselves.  God was telling Israel through this chapter that he did not bless them because they were essentially great or that they had more noble “roots” than other nations.  He's telling us the same thing.  We all have no basis for pride.  We should not trust in our heritage but in the God of our heritage. 

We can also learn that sex, love, marriage and family should be enjoyed only within the will of God and the Word of God.  If we attempt to have these things in any other way our family life, like that of Jacob, it will be a disaster. 

Love, sex, marriage, and family are gifts from a loving God and are best enjoyed if we are in fellowship with Him. 

Connected to this is the clear teaching that sex without love brings no fulfillment and in fact can degenerate to something close to prostitution as indicated where Leah later had to hire Jacob’s presence.  Sex without love can become a commodity and a tragedy. 

Note also that Leah learned that no amount of sex or of children can create love, for after giving both she was still unloved. So we have to communicate this truth to all children, especially to girls, that they should never give their bodies in a vain search for love. Sex will produce children, but it will never produce love. 

Jacob's love for Rachel seemed to at least in part have been based on her beauty.  She was a beautiful woman.  Women today look on beauty as the most important thing.  Men also make great sacrifices to marry a “showpiece”.  

We should all be reminded of the importance of character in our expected spouses. Our society's emphasis on glamour and beauty, telling people that their self-worth is based on their physical attractiveness and sex appeal is wrong. 

Remember that God did not look at Rachel's beauty and then rate Rachel over Leah.  In fact, He blessed Leah for he looked at her heart. So let us remind our self what Proverbs 31: 30 says: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised”. 

In seeking to appoint a king to replace Saul, Samuel was impressed with several of the sons of Jesse that were paraded before him; “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance, or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as men sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7).  

Unfortunately some men seem to think that their masculinity is determined by the amount of women that they can seduce, the more they seduce, the more of a man they are. 

So by those standards Jacob was a champion.  He had four wives, produced a large family but look at what happened to him.  His wives or his harem mastered him, and he was pushed from bed to bed by his wives.  He was even purchased for the night, and he went along with it.  He was really a slave of sex and marriage, he did not rule in his marriage.  His leadership was poor. 

Marriage cannot long be sustained only on romantic love.  Romantic love is not necessarily wrong but remember that there will be a time “when the honeymoon is over”. Then relationship will succeed only if it is based on more solid grounds that mere romantic love. 

Jacob did not work at broadening and deepening his love.  So Rachel became jealous, threatened, and desperate, feeling unloved, just as Leah felt unloved. 

It is only by following God that we will be enabled not to fail in our love, sex and marriage as Jacob failed. 

There was much heartbreak in the story of Jacob and Rachel.  Jacob had a marriage feast but it did not work out very well.  It left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

But no matter what our personal marriage difficulties, we should remember that all believers can look forward to the ‘Marriage Supper of the Lamb’, when Jesus returns to claim his followers, his bride. When Jesus returns he won't be hiding in the darkness veiled like Leah.  We won't be drunk or have ‘dim eyes’ like Jacob.  We will see Jesus as He is.  We will look in His face and be delighted. 

All our errors, sins and our indiscretions will not be obstacles for believers and stop us on that day.  They would all have been forgiven. We will never feel unloved, ignored and we will never be desperate. All tears will be wiped away from our eyes.  We will never suffer again.  We will always be in the fullest of love.  We will know that God will give us every good thing. 

So let us look forward to that ‘Marriage Supper of the Lamb’ and if we are so engaged all our actions in this life should be guided by the Holy Spirit. 

Just remember that God wants righteousness in the inward parts.  Without holiness we will not see the Lord.  So be ye holy.